Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
From MckMama:

Embarrassed that your child urinated in their pants at your mother in law's house? Ashamed about the cupcakes you ate for dinner? Would you like to hide the fact that you put your child to bed in their dirty clothes from the day instead of in clean pajamas? We'll don't be! Not Me! Monday was born out of my desire to admit some of my imperfections and reveal a few moments I'd rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

So I am going to start in on this Not Me! Monday, I hope you enjoy reading and get a few good laughs as well.

I most certainly did not let my daughter sleep with me every night of the week as that is completely against all the rules when it comes to newborns. And I most certainly did not hold her during almost every naptime as well, she sleeps and naps in her crib.

I did not ask John to boil my breastpump parts and then I did not see him leap off the couch an hour and a half later and run something outside. The something was not above said breastpumps parts now in a melted heap of plastic in burnt pot.

I did not try to make frozen pizzas in the oven. I always cook my own dinners. And since I never make frozen pizzas I would never have forgotten to remove them from the cardboard backing and bake them on the cardboard. Nope NOT ME! Being the betty crocker that I am, I would never allow my son to have wheat thins and nothing else for breakfast after he refused apple pancakes. We eat three square meals a day around here, so this would NEVER happen.

I did not catch my son playing with my breastpump, as it is always put away when not in use. And since it's always put away I did not show him how to position them correctly and then snap a quick picture after he begged for me to turn it on. I am way more mature than that!

I did not have a great time with my girlfriend Kristin at the Lincoln Park Zoo on Wednseday. I did not devour an entire one pound bag of M&M's during the travel to and from the zoo out of frustration over the traffic. I am way more healthy than that!

I am most certainly not typing this post with one month old daughter asleep, again, in my lap and enjoying every single second of it. Nope not me!

What have you not done this week?