(Warning...this post is pure emotion put into words, it might not flow nicely or make much sense)
It has been a few weeks since we have had a good school routine. But before this "break" we were doing so well!! I am out of practice and Jackson is out of practice too. Today SUCKED! It was just like it was before Thanksgiving, he ended mad, I ended mad and all we did was about 25min of reading. I think my next move is to look into school next year, I don't think I am cut out for this :(
I am really disappointed in myself. I have NO patience and teaching to read is HARD! I bet learning to read is even harder especially from a teacher who has no patience. I don't want Jackson to hate school. I don't feel ok in my heart sending him to public school and Christian school is far away and expensive. Feeling like I am at a crossroad and just want to sit in at the junction and cry. Maybe a shower and a good cry is what i need.
It has been really hard for me to prioritize school as I rationalize it out as "eh, it's only kindergarten". I didn't go to Kindergarten and I turned out fine. Shoot, I didn't go to school till I was 7. Jackson turns 6! S-I-X!! SIX in May! That means I better get my act together and start doing something! I want him to love school, homeschool. I want us all to love homeschool! But man it is HARD!
I feel defeated. Maybe public school isn't so bad?!...
1 comment:
For what my inexperienced thoughts are worth: Chin up Charlie.
You and Jackson can recover and thrive if homeschool is the direction you're meant to pursue as a family. Don't let a rough day get you too down. Ask for help, look into co-ops and see what options are available to you. And remember what you told me about babies and their diet because perhaps you can look at Jackson's schooling the same way: look at the big picture, the long term... (instead of stressing baby getting all food groups daily, ask- did baby get sufficient protein in this quarter? So, instead of 'did student master today's lesson?' Ask: Did Jackson learn his vowels this quarter?) This might help you be gracious with yourself and not stress on days like today. After all, even professional and seasoned teachers have their lessons that bomb and their days when they struggle to manage the classroom.
On the other hand, I know a lot of great kids going through the public school system right now as bunked as it is, doing wonderfully. I am friends with dozens (more even if I counted) of amazing Christian teachers, administrators, assistants, counselors, secretaries, coaches you name it; each being a great Light in the public schools (our mom is one!) So, don't count it out, homeschooling isn't for everyone.
Love you! (And please remind me of this in a few years when I'm crying on YOUR shoulder with the same struggle. What a decision!:) Luckily God did not put us here alone, so don't feel like you have to reinvent the wheel or make the choice alone, lean into the strengths of those you trust for help and guidance. We love you!
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